Artemorphs
by The QAS
Summary: The Yeerks are after Artemis! They want to use his intelligence and wealth to take over earth. And when the Animorphs save him from a near infestation, he agrees to help them fight the Yeerks, provided they give him something in return...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, it's me again! **

**This crossover takes place around the mid series in Animorph (around the late #20's or early #30's) and is instead of The Enternity Code for Artemis Fowl (I will actually be using a few quotes from that book) **

**Note: In my story, the Animorphs live in Oregon because by the environment it describes in the series, it seems like a logical guess. Yes, I am aware that in an earlier draft of this story they lived in California, but I did some research recently and realized that the first wolf spotted in the state in about eighty years was only a couple of months ago. Since wolves are one of their most common morphs and are found in Cassie's barn, I changed the state to Oregon.**

**In case you didn't know, though speak is ((like this)) **

**Now, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer-I don't own Animorphs or Artemis Fowl..._yet_ (laughs evilly)**

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**Cover: **

**(Insert picture of Artemis morphing a raven)**

_**"Things will never be the same for either of them..."**_

* * *

**Chapter 1: Oregon, USA**

Visser Three was not a patient Yeerk. Today, however, he was particularly irritable. He glared at his useless servant, tapping his hoof impatiently. ((Can't you go any faster, Iniss?)) he demanded angrily.

Iniss flinched. He hated whenever his master was in one of his moods. The Visser had been more and more edgy lately, it was probably because of those Andalite bandits. In the most respectful tone he could manage, so he wouldn't angry him, the Yeerk replied, "I'm trying, Visser. Really. It's just that these human computers are so slow and primitive..."

((I don't want to hear any complaints!))

"My apologizes," he typed something on the computer and clicked search; a window popped up and Iniss groaned loudly.

((WHAT?)) Visser Three roared in thought-speak, ((DO MY ORDERS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU! WHAT IS IT NOW, YOU SIMPLETON?))

"There seems to be no one left."

((Then do a recount, you idiot!)) Yep, definitely one of his moods.

"I already did. Twice. It's no use, there doesn't seem to be a single host in the United States, Canada, or Mexico that fits our qualifications."

((Iniss, why are you only looking in America? Think bigger, try Europe, Asia, Australia, this planet is flooded with these filthy humans, any fool can see that!))

"Y-yes, Visser!" he stuttered nervously. "I'm on it!"

Twently minutes later, he said. "Well...I found _someone _alright."

((Who?))

"He's a criminal mastermind. A human by the name of Artemis Fowl," Iniss looked up, confused, "that's a female name, is it not?"

Esplin rolled his stalk eyes. ((Do I care? Just keep going.))

"It says here that the Fowls have been passing down their talents for over five hundred years at least. Artemis is said to be very intelligent with an IQ of over two hundred, the highest of any living person. And he is very wealthy as well."

((And where does this Artemis character live?))

"Europe. Ireland to be exact."

((Perfect! Those blasted Andalite bandits will never suspect us to find a host there! Iniss, gather a meeting, this Artemis could be very useful.))

"Yes, of course. But Visser, there's something I think you should be aware of..."

((Not now, Iniss.))

"But, Visser Three, I really think that you should know-"

((Iniss, what did I say?))

"To gather a meeting."

((And what are you not doing right now?))

"But Visser, Artemis is-"

((ARE YOU DEAF?)) he screamed in thought-speech, ((I TOLD YOU I WAS NOT INTERESTED!))

"But Visser, Artemis is only thirteen!" he blurted out.

Visser Three turned all four of his host's eyes onto Iniss.

Iniss covered his face with his arms, as if trying to block the Visser from hurting him. Of course, had he decided to, the defense would be worthless against Alloran's tailblade, or even a Dracon Beam.

((Iniss 226, what did you just say to me?)) the Yeerk demanded.

"The boy's only thirteen," he squeaked.

((I do not care how young he is. As long as he is clever and good at scheming, that is all that matters.))

"Yes, Visser."

((Now, go make yourself useful and construct a meeting!))

Iniss nodded, and made his way for the door.

((Oh, and Iniss?))

He turned around. "Yes?"

((If you even interrupt me while I am speaking again, I will personally remove your host's head and feed it to the Taxxons!))

* * *

**Some random town in Oregon, USA**

Jake had never been so tired before. For the past six nights, he and the Animorphs had been working overtime with super late missions, with little progress. He had gotten about four hours of sleep total this week. _Maybe._

He walked down the stairs to the kitchen, still half-asleep.

His parents were at the table waiting for him.

"Good morning to you too, Jake," said his mom sarcastically, "and yes I did sleep well, thank you for asking."

Jake, too tired to speak, responded with no more then a small grunt.

Not at all paying attention to what he was doing, Jake took a bowl and poured himself some cereal, not even noticing he put orange juice in instead of milk.

"Jake, did you take Homer out?" mom asked.

WOOF! Homer agreed.

"Uh!" he grunted, putting his face into his cereal.

Tom came down the stairs in a business suit. "Good morning. Mother, father," he nodded at Jake nonchalantly, "Midget."

Jake made some kind of unintelligible moan, his head still in the cereal.

"Why are you so dressed up?" Jake's father asked Tom.

"Remember, today the Sharing is meeting someone very special; someone in Ireland."

This woke Jake up, as soon as he heard the word "Ireland", his head popped up from the bowl. His face was covered in cherios. After a few gasping breaths he said. "Ireland?"

"Yeah, we've been planning it all week."

"But why Ireland?"

"Were you listening? We're meeting somebody there!"

"Who?"

"That's top secret."

"But-"

"I've gotta go. By mom, dad, Midget." Tom walked over to Jake and picked a cherio off his face, he chewed and swallowed. Tom shrugged, and then left the house.

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**So that's the first chapter, tell me what you think? This is my first Artemis Fowl crossover and second Artemis Fowl-related fic **

**So please review! Pretty please? With a cherry on top? *Makes puppy face***


	2. Chapter 3

**Thanks again Skylan D. Water for the review, it means a lot to me :) **

**Now here's the next chapter! **

**Enjoy! **

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Within less than an hour, everyone was in Cassie's barn, all anxious to hear what the news was.

"Hey, Rachel, look what I can do!" Marco exclaimed, balancing a spoon on his nose.

Well..._almost _everyone.

Jake burst through the doors to Cassie's barn, looking as if he had just ran a marathon. He was dressed in his morphing suit: a tight T-shirt and black biking shorts. Beads of sweat were trickling down his face and he was panting uncontrollably.

"Well, well, what do you know?" Marco said, "Big Jake, late for his own meeting? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk."

"Sorry, I'm late, guys," he said, ignoring Marco. "I had to feed Homer." Jake wiped the sweat off of his face and straightened his posture, assuming his "leader" look. "Anyway, I have good news. Kids, we're going on a field trip!"

Everybody laughed except Ax who did not get it, and Marco who just rolled his eyes. "Really? It's funny when he makes that joke, but not me?"

Jake waited a couple of second for his friends to quiet down. He had learned to always start things on a light note. "Okay. Seriously, guys. Back to business. We're are going to Ireland."

"Ireland?"

"What?"

((Ireland is a human country. It is the third largest Island in Europe and the twentieth largest island in the world. It lies to the northwest of continental Europe and is surrounded by hundreds of islands and islets. To the east of Ireland is Great Britain, separated from it by the Irish Sea. The island is divided between separate jurisdictions: the Republic of Ireland, which covers just under five-sixths of the island, and Northern Ireland, a part of the United Kingdom, which covers the remainder and is located in the northeast of the island. The population of Ireland is estimated to be 6.2 million people, with just under 4.5 million in the Republic of Ireland and just under 1.8 million in Northern Ireland.))

Everybody stared at Ax, eye wide, and mouthes agape, somewhat like confused goldfish.

((Ax,)) Tobias said quietly.

((Yes?))

((Have you been memorizing wikipedia again?))

* * *

"Butler?" Artemis pleaded one last time, hoping the bodyguard would answer. But he knew it was no use. Butler would have never abandon him out of free will; something horrible must have happened. He knew he shouldn't have come to this meeting! How could he have been so incredibly _stupid_? He was a genius, he was supposed to know these things! _But how come I didn't hear anything?_ he wondered. _Surely if something like that would happen, I would have noticed _something.

To his surprise and utter relief, Bulter opened the door. He felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Artemis ran to him. "Butler, old friend. You have no idea how glad I am to see you. Let's get out of here." He grabbed Butler by the arm and started running. But Butler did not budge. Something was very wrong.

"Butler? Come on, let's go!" said Artemis desperately.

"Don't worry, Artemis. Everything is going to be fine. Just listen to what Ini-I mean Chapman and Tom say to you."

Whoever this man was, he was **not** Butler.

The thought of what happened to him ran a chill through Artemis's spine. Was he okay? Though, he should be more worried about himself right now.

The three men cornered him, forcing Artemis further and further away form the door.

In the corner, there was a chair.

"Sit," Chapman ordered.

"But-" he knew it would be useless to argue with these people. He may have had brains, but strength was a completely different matter.

Reluctantly, Artemis sat in the chair. Immedeatily metal cuffs locked his wrists to the arm rests, and legs to the chair. And for once Artemis's mind went blank. He didn't know what to do.

Artemis tried to meditate, but what good would that do in a time like this?

Tom lifted up one of the floor tiles, and what was underneath gave Artemis the chills. It was a tank. Filled with a dirty liquid of some kind. But the worst part was, inside the tank, swimming around inside, were little creatures that somewhat resembled slugs. It was quite a repulsive sight. And to his horror, Chapman scooped up one of the slug creatures, and brought it over to Artemis, getting ready to slip it in his ear!

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**Sorry that this chapter was shorter :P **

**I'll try to make the next one longer. **

**In the meantime, please review!**


	3. Chapter 4

**Feline Jaye: Thank you for the review, and I appreciate honesty. To tell you the truth, I'm more familiar with Animorphs than Artemis Fowl, so I'm finding his character a little tricky to get. Thank you for letting me know. In the future, could you please be more specific and tell me how he's out of character so I know what to correct? That'd be great. Anyway, thanks again for reviewing ;)**

**And, as always, thank you Skylan D. Water for the awesome review :D**

**Now for the moment you've all been waiting for... **

**(Drumroll) **

**The next installment of _Artemorphs!_**

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"So what information can you give us, Erek?" Jake asked the android.

"Well, from what I've heard, the Yeerks are going to Ireland to infest world famous criminal mastermind, Artemis Fowl."

Marco's spoon clattered onto the floor. Surely he could not have heard that right. "Artemis Fowl? _The_ Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl _The Second_?"

"I think so."

"Why? Who's Artemis Fowl?" asked Cassie, confused.

Marco's mouth dropped open. "You don't know who Artemis Fowl is?"

They shook their heads.

"I've seen him at last a dozen times on TV. Artemis is about a year younger than us. He's been suspected of stealing many precious items, but has never been caught in the act. But I've also seen Fowl win, like, a trillion prizes for his brilliance. He must be the smartest, geekiest, nerdiest, kid in the world! Oprah once mentioned him." Everyone stared at him, "My dad was watching her, not me." He blushed a little.

"_He_? Wait, Fowl's a boy?" Cassie said.

"Yes. Why?"

"It's just that...the name Artemis comes form a Greek goddess. And she _hated_ men!" Cassie started laughing hysterically. Realizing that nobody else understood her joke, she frowned. "You mean I'm the only one who pays attention in social studies?"

"Moving on," Jake said, "it sounds like we're in a dangerous siduation here."

"Just how smart is he?" Rachel asked.

"Let's put it this way. Ax-man, he puts your intelligence to shame."

Ax straightened with indignity. ((Impossible! We andalites are the most intelligent, most superior species in the whole galaxy!))

"Ax, he has an IQ of over 200. I think he wins."

((So what do we do?)) Tobias questioned.

"We go to Ireland of course," Jake replied, trying to sound like he actually knew what he was doing.

"How? There's no way we could get there in time. Our bird morphs aren't fast enough, and even if we snuck on a plane we still would not make it."

"I may have a solution, "Erek said. "Remember how one of us was a movie star? Well we still have a private jet."

"Excellent! Let's do it!"

Marco groaned. "I hate when she does that."

((But what shall we do when we get there, Prince Jake?)) Ax questioned.

"Okay, first of all, don't call me 'Prince'-"

((Yes, Prince Jake.))

"And we can' let the Yeerks get him...so we have stop them from infesting one of the smartest people in the world."

Marco snorted. "And how exactly do we do that?"

"I've got a plan..."

Everybody huddled up like a football team, anxious to hear their leader's plan. It was risk, reckless, and incredibly desperate. It was crazy, alright. So crazy that it just might work.

"Okay, let's go!"

"We get to ride in a jet!"

* * *

The creature was millimeters from his ear now. What was he going to do? There must be a way escape! But Artemis saw absolutely no way out of this. For once, he, Artemis Fowl, did not know what to do.

But just before it was slipped in, the wall on the other side of the room seemed to explode!

It was enough to startle everyone, making the men forget about the slug momentarily.

Artemis looked for the sorce of the explosion. A gorilla holding the same kind of gun the men had, stood there.

_Curious_, Artemis thought.

"Andalite bandit!" Chapman cried.

"How did they find us?"

All three men began to shoot at it.

In all the confusion, Artemis tried once again to free himself, but it was no use.

Then things got even stranger. The gorilla bounded at full speed towards Artemis. Was it going to attack him? he wondered. But Artemis seriously doubted it; this was obviously no ordinary gorilla.

And he was right. The beast tried to pull apart the cuffs, but they were too strong even for him. So the gorilla went with plan B, he just picked up the entire chair, with Artemis in it, and ran off.

((Just hang in there, kid.))

Artemis's eye darted around the room. _Who said that?_

"NOOOOO!" Tom wailed, going down on his knees and pounding his fists on the floor, like a spoiled child. "We were so close!"

"You fool," Chapman said, "don't let them get away!"

But they knew it was out of their hands now, the gorilla had left the building, carrying the boy with him.

"So much for my promotion," Tom muttered.

Meanwhile Marco boarded the jet, he couldn't believe their luck! And yet, something seemed uncanny. Artemis hadn't said a word the entire time. His face remained completely blank.

((Uh, no offense, kid, but you were just kidnapped by a gorilla. Why aren't you freaking out?))

"I am trying to analyze what has just occurred. Because, stylistically this should be impossible; and I must admit, I was rather caught off guard during the events that unfolded in the past eleven minutes. But I'm sure that once I get my bearings together, things should be much more perceivable."

Marco snorted mentally. Great, just what he needed, another Ax.

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**You know what to do, press that botton. Come on, press it.**


	4. Chapter 5

**Feline Jaye: I'm glad you liked the last chapter better :) I'll take what you said about Artemis's character into consideration. I will agree he was a little too naive in that scene thank you for letting me know**

**Skylan D. Water: Thanx again! **

**Artemis may be a bit OOC in this one, but I think I'm getting better at his character**

* * *

"Jake, I can't believe you let Marco do that!" Rachel said.

"I hate to say this, but Rachel's right. That was very irresponsible of you Jake," agreed Cassie, "I mean, you probably traumatized the poor kid."

"Totally. If anyone's going to break into a cafe in Europe to kidnap a criminal mastermind in battle morph, it should be **me**!"

"No, not what I meant. I mean, Jake, we should've done this in a more subtle way, imagine the shock those poor innocent people will get when a gorilla bursts into the cafe."

"We didn't have much time to think of a plan, and we needed to get Fowl out of there as fast as possible. You know how dangerous it would be for the Yeerks to get a hold of a mind like that? If he's half as smart as Marco says he is..."

Marco ran through the door, still in gorilla morph.

((Do you have him?)) Tobias asked.

((Yep.)) Marco began to demorph.

"Is he okay?"

"No," Marco said once fully human. "the guy sounds like a talking dictionary. He's creeping me out."

"He can't be that bad-"

"Yes he can! The kid's not scared at all!"

"Well, what's he doing now?"

"Meditating."

"Okay, somebody has to go out there and question him to make sure he's trust worthy."

"Uh, Jake? He's a criminal mastermind. I don't think he's exactly 'trustworthy'."

"You know what I mean! Cassie, you can do it. Be very careful."

"Got it!"

Jake looked around. Something was wrong. "Hey, where's Ax man?"

((Eating all the salted nuts,)) Tobias replied casually.

"Go figure."

* * *

Artemis examined his surroundings. He was in a jet of some sort. Probably inside the storage room.

The door to the main area of the jet opened. A wolf casually walked in.

((Hi,)) "said" the wolf. But no words came out of its mouth. Artemis was not surprised by this, after all, a wolf's vocal cords were too far different from those of a human to be able to speak English. The voice went directly into his head, just as the gorilla's did.

"Hello," said Artemis, feeling there was not much else he could do, considering the wolf had the advantage of sharp teeth, claws, and of course, not being chained to a chair.

The wolf looked at Artemis. ((You seem surprisingly calm for someone who has just been kidnapped.))

Artemis shrugged. "Pannicing will not solve much, now will it?"

((I suppose you're right. And in case you're worried, we are not going to, you know, hurt you or anything.))

"I figured as much," Artemis reasoned, "otherwise you most likely would have done so already. Unless, of course you are planning to torture me for information, or trick me into gaining your trust." He paused, cocking his head to study her. "You aren't really a wolf, are you?"

The wolf, to his surprise, actually laughed. ((No, I'm not. You _are_ a smart one, aren't you?))

"So a shape shifting creature. An alien perhaps?"

((Wow, you're good. But no, well, not all of us.))

"So some of you are aliens? And those creatures back in the cafe, aliens too, I pressume?"

((Is there anything you don't know?))

Artemis, unable to help himself, smirked arrogantly.

((You don't seem too dangerous. Well, for a criminal mastermind, anyway.)) And with that, the wolf just left.

* * *

Cassie returned to the other animorphs.

"Well?" Rachel said, looking up from filing her nails.

"He's not too bad. But he seems to be keeping to himself. Should we tell him?"

((Well, we obviously can't leave him chained to that chair forever,)) Tobias pointed out.

"We can't?" Marco asked.

"But what is our plan exactly?"

"We try to befriend him. He'll find out one way or another, so we might as well tell him."

"Jake? Do you ever listen to yourself? My dad would ground me for enternity if found out I'm hanging out with a wanted ciminal. I know I don't say this a lot, but, ARE YOU INSANE?"

"This Artemis guy might be useful, better to have him with us then against us."

"Fine. But we're not giving him the morphing power or anything, right?"

"Of course not! We learned that the hard way." They all shuddered.

That was defenetly an experiance they did **not** want to repeat.

* * *

The Animorphs told him their story, or the basic idea (they decided not to give the kid too much information just yet.) Artemis kept his face clear of any emotion whatsoever the entire time.

"Intriguing," Artemis commented once they were done. "So five ordinary children and an alien have the power to transform into any animal they touch. How is that possible?"

((Well you see,)) Ax said, ((by touching and making physical contact with an animal the device allows you to absorb and duplicate the animal's DNA.))

Artemis interrupted the alien, "And a mental imagine allows you to transform into that very duplicate by altering the organisms in your-"

"Ooookay, thank you very much for that mental picture," Marco said.


	5. Chapter 6

**Mini Yeerk Pool: Underground, Ireland **

Chapman paced back and fourth. "Okay, so we may not have Artemis. But we've got the next best thin, the boy's bodyguard. How are you holding up there, Nijir?"

The Yeerk smiled weakly. "Fine, Iniss. But this has got to be the most stubborn host I've ever had. This human has amazingly strong will power."

"Suck it up, Nijir. The Visser will be here any minute and he's expecting a thirteen-year-old genius to be with us."

Butler screamed and cursed with all his might, but it was no use. The creature had complete control over him, and there was nothing he could do about it. Absolutely nothing. He had never felt so powerless, and to make matters worse there was no one to protect Artemis. If anything bad were to happen to him, it would be all his fault. And Butler knew he would never be able to forgive himself.

Nijir 4613 was having problems of his own. For some odd reason he could not able to get ahold of all of his host's memories. This Butler person was fighting back harder than he thought possible. At least the host was getting tired. Nijir knew he would not be able to keep it up for much longer. But still, the thought scared him. This was only Nijir's third human host, and the other two had both been volentary controllers. _Do all humans resist this much? _he wondered. Nijir surely hoped not. This host was turning out to be a lot of trouble handling. _Maybe I should stick to the Hork Bajirs from now on. _

At last, Butler could no longer take it. And Nijir understood why he had tried so hard to stop him from seeing certain memories.

* * *

**Chee Jet: Somewhere above Europe**

"This technology of yours sounds remarkable. Would you mind if I see one of you morph?"

"Umm...sure. Cassie, go ahead."

Artemis watched with utter facination as Cassie transformed into an osprey and then back to her human form.

"So will you help us?" asked Jake.

"I am assuming we are also going to rescue Butler, correct?"

"Who's Butler?"

"My bodyguard-"

"You have a bodyguard named 'Butler'?" Marco asked.

"Yes."

"So, does that mean that at your house you have a butler named 'Bodyguard'?"

Some of the other Animorphs sniggered at that thought.

Artemis, however, did not look very amused. "If you are done with your childish affairs, you may now turn your attention to the more serious matter at hand, which is, of course, the rescue of my bodyguard, Butler."  
"Rescue? Are you sure you're a criminal?" Rachel said.

"If we manage to sucsesfully save him, and I am willing to help you fight the Yeerks."

"Really?"

Then a horrible thought struck Artemis. If the Yeerks could really read the minds of their hosts, then that meant they knew everything Butler knew about Artemis. _Everything_. _All_ of his secrets. And that would include.._. Oh, D'Arvt! The LEP! _

Now Artemis and the LEPrecon did not exactly get along perfectly, but even he didn't want them to be infested by evil alien parasites. After all, they had saved his father last year. But what about the Animorphs? He saw no way around telling them, and as much as Artemis hated to admit it, he needed their help; his chances of success were much less without their knowledge about the Yeerks. And in the end, he could always have the fairies mind-wipe them. That way, everybody wins.

"Artemis, you okay?" Cassie asked, her expression looked concerned. It made Artemis uncomfortable, he wasn't used to having people be concerned about him.

"Yes, I'm fine." he would tell them when the time was right. He looked down. "But would someone mind freeing me from this chair?"

"Ax-man, can you-"

((Yes, Prince Jake.))

"Don't call me prince."

((Yes, Prince Jake.)) He turned to Artemis. ((But I do recommend that you stay as still as possible. I do not wish to accidently remove any of your limbs.))

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**I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed this story so far. You're awesome! **

**Speaking of which...REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 7

**Yes, I know this chapter is so short, sorry :P**

* * *

Erek ran into the room. His hologram's eyes were filled with fear. "Uh...Jake? We have a problem."

"What is it?" he asked, trying to the best of his abilities to hide his panic.

"The jet...something's gone wrong."

No longer bothering to look calm, Jake began rambling hysterically to his ancient robot friend, hoping it would calm his nerves down a bit. "What do you mean something's wrong? What's wrong? Surely it can't be that bad. Right? Right? _Please_, say 'right'!"

"It's that bad."

Once again, Jake had to force himself to look calm on the outside, as not to scare his friends. Although in reality, his insides were churning. "Well, um, can you fix it?"

"Sure, I can try. But I can't do it in the air. We need to land, and soon."

"But where would we be able to fit a jumbo jet without being seen? Even if you do use a hologram, someone may run into it, and we would not have the room. We can't risk it. It's too dangerous."

"More dangerous than possibly crashing?"

He had a point. But still . . . "Well, maybe we could - -"

That's when Artemis piped in. "I know a place where we could put it. I'll even take a look at the problem. I'm sure it cannot be that complicated with a little thought. Besides, there's someone I need to call."

Jake eyed him suspicously for a moment. He did not trust Artemis, not in the least. The boy was far to reserved. Far too quiet. It was as if he was hiding something. But at this point, he had no other choice. Jake sighed. "What sort of place?"

"I have a house in Luccombe Beach  
It is not too far from here. If we go at top speed, there should be no problem."

"Won't people see us?"

Artemis shook his head. "That would be highly unlikely. It is a remote beach that only a few people know about. The houses are well spred out."

Jake thought for a minute, before reluctantly answering, "Fine."

* * *

Going at full speed they arrived safely at Laccombe Beach in under an hour (the chee had sped the jet up).

"Oh my god," Cassie said, looking around in awe. "It's. . .it's beautiful. Wow."

And it was. Surrounded by a magnificant garden of trees and wild flowers, was a mansion. It was quite a bit smaller than most of Artemis's other beach houses (which, of course, was still pretty big in comparison to the average person's house), but it was just as he remembered it. Wild and icolated. Perfect.

_What if he tried to escape and just left us here? _wondered Jake. No, it was unlikely to happen. If Artemis had something planned he would have done it already. Hopefully.

* * *

Meanwhile, Marco had to go to the bathroom. It took him more than twenty minutes to find it, even after getting extremely detailed instructions from Artemis. The long, twisted hallways confused him. Marco never really had been very good at following directions.

After coming out he passed the lounge were Artemis was talking on the phone. But, wait a minute, why were there two voices?

He pressed his ear against the wall to eavesdrop on the no longer so private conversation. Yes, there were definitely two voices, that much he was sure of. One of them belonged to Artemis, and the other he did not recognize, but Marco could tell it was a female._ I thought Artemis said that no one else ws here. _He never did trust the kid. He knew this was all mistake. Oh, why couldn't his life be normal? He decided to listen some more.

"Figures. I should've guessed it was you, Mudboy," said the female voice. _Who on earth was he talking to?_

Marco couldn't take it anymore, he burst into the room. Artemis did not look at all surprised to see him. In fact, if anything, he appeared rather amused. "Ah, Marco," he said nonchalantly, "I thought I might have heard you."

And talking to Artemis was a little girl, no taller than three feet. Weird. She had light brown skin, hazel eyes, and auburn hair.

"Erm...Artemis?" Marco said, "Who's your friend?"

Artemis sighed. "Holly, meet Marco. Marco, meet Holly Short."

Holly looked just as baffled by all this as Marco. "What's this about?" she demanded. "Tell me right now! I'm not playing any games!"

Marco's eyes moved back and fourth between confused Holly and smug Artemis. He sensed the awkwardness of the siduation. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Yeah...well, nice to meet you and all, Holly. I'll just be...um...going now..." he backed out the door, slowly at first, then broke into a run.

* * *

**You know what to do. Press that button at the bottom. Come on, press it. You know you want to.**


	7. Chapter 8

**Possibly the shortest chapter to date, still it's an update.**

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"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" Marco screamed. He ran up to his friend, arms flailing like those of a penguin trying to fly. "JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE!JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE!"

The unofficial leader of the Animorphs rolled his eyes. "Marco, I am right here."

"What-oh. Hi, Jake." Now, where was he? Oh yeah. "JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JAKE! JA-"

"WHAT?" he demanded.

"That Artemis kid, he's wacko! Wacko, I tell you! Completely WACKO!" he grabbed Jake by the shoulders and shook him. "I repeat: _WACKO!_"

"Hmm . . . just like someone else we know," Rachel murmured. Her voice was casual, but there was no mistaking the sly glint in her eye and she filed her (already perfect) finger nails, watching for Marco's reaction.

Marco shot her a look, but continued his hysterical rant, "I found him with this random four-year-old! Only she has pointed ears! Come on, Jake, you gotta come, I'm serious!"

He blinked. "Marco, exactly just how much sugar have you had today?" Jake asked.

Rachel laughed. She and her cousin exchanged a quick high-five.

Marco glared at her. "I'm serious, I saw him, and he's talking to this girl who's only, like, three feet tall! He's going to tell people about us!"

The other boy was rather doubtful. "Ooookaay, but why would he start with a little kid?"

"I don't know, because he's wacko!" **(AN: Marco's words of wisdom.)**

Jake sighed, but decided to humor his friend. His very odd, hyper friend. "Fine, I'll go check it out."

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Holly's helmet beeped. She was getting a message. Foaly's face appeared on her video-watch-communicator-thingy. "Hey, Holly," said the centaur, nibbling on a carrot. "Did you find out who it was yet?"

"Oh, you bet I did!" the elf said angrily, through gritted teeth.

"Who is it? Anyone we know?"

Holly grabbed Artemis by the shirt collar, held out her wrist, and pulled him in front of the screen.

The centaur groaned. He should known. "Oh, it's _you_."

"Yes, it is me," Artemis said, pulling a his collar, struggling to breathe. "Holly, you are cutting off my circulation!"

She pulled at it harder. "I hope I do!"

"What do you want?"

"I came here to warn you, something is going to attack Haven, something very, very dangerous. A parasite from outter space called a Yeerk. They take over the mind and take control over your bodies."

"Yeah, right!" Foaly scoffed. This was obviously one of the Mudboy's tricks. It had to be. "Where's your proof?"

Just then the door burst open, Jake, Marco, Rachel, Cassie, Tobias, and Ax (Erek was busy trying to fix the ship) came into the room.

Artemis smirked. "Proof enough for you?"

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"So let me get this straight," Marco said slowly, "You're a leprechaun-"

"Actually, an elf," Holly corrected. "But I belong to the LEPrecon."

"Yeah, that's what I said. And there's an entire race of faeries underground that stay hidden from humans, who are all vegetarian, animal-loving, peaceful, beings?" There was a shrug and a nod. "Great, first we had the Helmacrons with a world full of Rachels, now we have a world full of Cassies!"

"Hey!" Cassie and Rachel protested indignantly.

"You seem to be taking this awfully lightly," Artemis commented.

"Yeah, well I figured my life couldn't get anymore insane, so why not?" Marco shrugged. "And, just one more thing."

"What's that?"

He jabbed a finger in the little elf's chest. "Stay away from my Lucky Charms cereal."

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**Note: That last line was not meant to offend anyone, it just seemed like something that Marco would say. **

**Anyway, sorry for the long wait and the short chapter. Please review!**


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